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What You Are Grieving

I honor every layer of what I am mourning. All of it matters. All of it is allowed.

Have you noticed that what you are grieving is not one thing? It is many things woven together, and that is why the weight of it can feel so disproportionate to anything you could name in a single sentence.

You are grieving the person you hoped they were. You are grieving the future you could once picture clearly. You are grieving the time, and the version of you who lived through that time, and the parts of yourself that went quiet inside it. You are grieving relationships that did not survive what you survived, and the easy trust you used to have in the world. All of this is grief, and all of it is real.

People around you may only see one piece of what you are carrying. They may say things meant kindly that do not fit the shape of your loss. That is alright. Your grief does not require their understanding to be valid. It is valid because it is yours, and because what you lost was real.

Today, you do not need to sort the grief into categories or finish any part of it. You only need to let yourself know that the weight is not exaggerated. The heaviness you feel — quiet, layered, accumulated — is the honest measure of what you are mourning. It deserves room, and it deserves time.

Today's Truth · Day 197 of 365

The grief is layered because the loss was layered. All of it is allowed.

My Harbor · By Bandy Jacob Strawn

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