When the Days Are Split
Even when the days are split, my love for my children does not divide. Whatever season I have with them is sacred.
There is a particular ache that arrives with the holiday calendar when the days will be split. If your children are part of your life and this season divides their hours between two homes — gently, officially — the mornings that used to be whole are now halved. The chair at the table that was always full is empty for part of the day. The bedtime story you used to read every night of December is not yours every night anymore.
This grief is real. It does not need to be solved. It only needs to be acknowledged.
You can hold this grief and still love the time you do have. The Christmas Eve that is yours becomes a Christmas Eve worth its whole weight in gold. The morning you have with them, however many mornings, is sacred. The breakfast pancakes. The slow walk to find the right gift. The book read in the quiet living room while everyone is still in pajamas. All of it counts.
Your love for your children does not divide when the calendar does. It is not halved. It is not lessened. It is the same enormous, steady love that has been with you through every chapter, and it remains theirs whether they are sitting beside you or not.
When they are not with you, the hours can feel long. Let yourself plan something for those hours that does not require you to perform. A friend. A long bath. A walk. A nap. A simple meal you actually want to eat. A movie you have been saving. A call with someone who loves you. Solitude that is chosen, not endured.
When they return to you, meet them softly. They may be tired. They may be quiet. They may want to talk, or not. Let their season unfold at their pace. Your steady, calm presence is the most important gift inside any holiday.
This is hard. There is no version of this that is not hard. And you are doing it. You are loving them across whatever distance the calendar puts between you. You are showing them, in every quiet hour you tend to, that love is bigger than logistics.
That lesson will outlast every holiday season. They will carry it forward all their lives.